You just made my list!

It is not going to be easy getting through this without vomiting.

I hate hippies. Everyone hates hippies. The only thing worse than a hippie is a hippie with dreadlocks. Ew, a little barf just came up. By definition dreads are disgusting. They are born from neglect and filth (on white people). HOWEVER, somehow it works on real Rasta dudes. BLACK Rasta dudes! It’s an entirely different story when Brad from Cinnabon lets his disgusting hair brush against your cinnamon roll. Sure, Brad loves Sublime and owns Bob Marley’s Greatest Hits on CD and MP3 but he’s hardly “jammin.” Now get me another cinnamon roll you smelly hippie and this time keep that shitty hair of yours out of my delicious icing! You know what Brad, forget it, I don’t even want a cinnamon roll anymore, in fact I may never eat again.

Ironically, these white dirt bags attempt to give off this “hey man whatever” vibe when in reality they are thinking, “hey man look at me, I’m cool, I’m different, do you think I’m cool, I’m in your face, me me me love me.”

If my kid ever tried to pull this shit I would ship him off to Jamaica to live in a tenement yard in Trenchtown.