You just made my list!

Barf.

I hate anything that has to do with shins, eyeballs or gums. Gums are profoundly disgusting to me. I take good care of my teeth and brush several times a day but I would rather get a salsa colonic than floss. I recently started flossing every night, rather than once a week, and it’s ruining my life. Every time that tiny string shoots through my teeth and slams into that little gum flap I practically faint.

Can’t they invent a laser or something that will do my flossing for me in the blink of an eye while I flex my muscles in the mirror. Oh yeah, I should mention that I always floss in the nude. There I set you up for some jokes, let’s see what ya got!