You just made my list!

It’s tempting to want “the other side” to stay home and not vote on election day but I would much rather see every person who is eligible get off their complacent asses and vote! The voting turnout in our country is shameful and embarrassing.

If you are an eligible voter and do not exercise this right then you are an idiot and you better keep your fat, dumb mouth shut on any subject pertaining to politics. You had your chance to speak up on election day but you decided to say home with a bag of Zesty Taco Doritos sitting on your tummy watching a “Cheaters” marathon. So keep your Dorito hole shut pal.

Like most comforts and freedoms in America, too many people take the privilege of voting for granted. And guess what? Casting a vote feels good. It feels GREAT! So get out there and vote your sweet ass off America, no matter who you are voting for. (but honestly, you should vote for Obama)

I have nothing against people riding bikes (except these cock holes) and I have nothing against trying to burn less gas by riding a bike BUT if you have ever been hijacked by these assholes you can understand my anger.

If you don’t know what “Critical Mass” is consider yourself lucky. The last Friday night of every month hundreds of bikers gather and ride through urban areas causing traffic jams with smirks on their ironically mustached faces. They ride in a large group and take great joy in holding up traffic by stopping in busy intersections and riding around in circles. In general it’s a parade of assholes that pisses everyone off.

It’s the typical, misguided, hippie theory of protesting. Make sure EVERYONE hates you at all times!

“Hey dudes, like we should teach everyone about how awesome bikes are. I was thinking we could like hold up traffic and make everyone hate the sight of a bicycle and like show people how much gas cars waste by making them waste more gas while we block their yuppie asses. It will be totally sweet and create even more pollution. Now, where’s my mustache wax?”

Can you tell I was just trapped by these douchebags on Friday? Idiots.