Does it make me a jerk who hates everything for despising these people or does it make me awesome? I’m assuming it’s the latter, in fact I’m sure of it.
These are the kind of people who travel all the way to New York from Crooked Boner, Tennessee only to spend their entire week in a 2 block radius surrounding Times Square. They pack sign-making supplies because they ain’t paying no New York prices and who knows if there even is a Wal-Mart in Manhattan! They eat at Chili’s every night and swear it tastes not as good as Chili’s in Crooked Boner but better than the Chili’s in Sickly Hollow.
The worst part is that they get up around 4am, when most New Yorkers are just eating dinner, just so they can stand on the street in the rain with the hopes that the camera might whiz past their “Sassy Moms Love Matt” sign for 2 seconds. Luckily the good ol’ VCR is rolling back home to capture the magic!
Has there ever been a bigger cock blocker than Chris Hansen? Sure, he always has a plate of cookies and cold tropical drinks at the ready, but other than that, this guy is a dick!
Actually, my real complaint with Chris Hansen is that pretentious, annoying way he talks. I actually start to root for the perverts at some point. Is there a chance he actually talks like this when the cameras are off? If so, is there a chance he has even one friend who isn’t deaf? Seriously, he’s creepier than almost every guy who walks in the door with a box of condoms and a 4-pack of Mike’s Hard Lemonade.
Hey perverts, here’s a little advice, if you go to meet a 14 year-old who you just chatted with online and the first thing he/she says when you walk in the door is “Hey, come on in and have a cookie and a margarita, I’ll be right back I just spilled something on my jacket,” just turn around and get the fuck out of there.
Remember, teen + cookies + frozen drinks = Chris Hansen!
Want to do something horrible? Search Google images for “golf outing” and prepare yourself for approximately 10,000,000 photos that look exactly like the one above.
If I ever see you wearing shorty golf socks, prepare to have those socks filled with my pee. Oh my God, I am officially the worst “writer” ever. That was possibly the dumbest thought ever expressed on the internet. Moving on… keep your short, doll-sized, pee-soaked socks away from me.
I actually like to play golf but the whole culture surrounding it sucks. The “sport” is filled with douchey white guys who live to tuck their shirts into various forms of pants (i.e. slacks, shorts, Dockers, jeans, etc.) and they still think it’s “money” to smoke cigars.
It’s not easy being better than everyone. Just kidding, it is.
Thank God Paul McCartney took my criticism to heart and improved that horrible guitar sound used in the original recording of “Get Back.” When he performed last night on David Letterman it sounded MUCH better. Thanks Paul!
Hey Paul, do you leave comments under the name “Joe” by any chance?
Enjoy while you can, this will be removed from youtube soon.
Remember the good old days when kids’ opinions were meaningless? I miss the days when a child sharing his opinion would result in a beer can to the head. OK, I don’t actually think you should throw beer at children. It’s obviously wrong to beat a child and it’s even worse to waste beer.
Believe it or not, I actually really like kids. I think a lot of children are totally awesome, and in many ways, I relate to them more than I do my fellow adults. HOWEVER, that does not mean I need to hear their opinions about the latest crappy crap that some movie studio crapped out of their craphole.
Here’s my problem with this concept. Have you ever heard a “real” kid NOT like a movie? They fucking love everything as long as it’s not too scary or boring. What KidsPickFlicks.com does though is give these brats an inflated sense of themselves and suddenly Kung Fu Panda lacks adequate character development. I actually have another problem with this website. Take a look at the reviews and tell me they were really written by children. It’s obvious adults have their hands in the mix. I actually think a website of real kids reviewing movies in their own words without editing would be fun to read.
Yeah, that’s right, one more night of painting the kitchen and not sharing my beautiful complaints with the world. I’ll be back tomorrow, promise.
I would like to point out that today I saw about 5 seconds of Guy Fieri’s piece of shit cooking show and in that small time he actually said “The name for this is too long, I’ll just call it MONEY.” I guarantee he jerks off to the movie “Swingers” at least once a week. God damn it, I hate that cockhole so much! (I can’t believe “cockhole” is not recognized by spell check)
So God bless America and God bless the children. Take it away Tyler Busby! (Make sure you also watch little Aaron Koehne make that Casio his bitch at the 6:30 mark)
Remember the good old days when Americans could not only speak English but also understand it when spoken? Are we really this dumb?
English subtitles for English-speaking people used to only be reserved for soccer hooligans on BBC America and Oasis interviews, but now it’s commonplace to see subtitles used for Americans on American television! Should we not be worried that TV programs feel the need to use subtitles under people from fucking Florida? FLORIDA! Oh god, I feel a rage spiral coming on.
