You just made my list!

First of all, who is actually drinking any Michelob product on purpose? I can understand if you were walking down the street and a construction worker on a skyscraper spilled his Michelob just as you looked up to admire the clouds and a few drops got in your mouth. Or maybe you get shot in the mouth and a good samaritan reaches for a Michelob to clean the wound. But how does a person choose to drink a Michelob?

A bigger question is, who reaches for a Michelob ULTRA Fruit Infused Beer? Possibly a nine-year-old girl? I don’t know about you, but when I’m hangin’ with the bros doing bro things, like watching sports and admiring each others’ bodies, I can often be heard saying “Dude, toss me another Tuscan Orange Grapefruit!”

“Sorry broskie, all we have left is Pomegranate Raspberry or Lime Cactus.”

“Fucking bro, no fucking way dude! I bought the Tuscan Orange Grapefruit for me!”

Then I usually have a good cry.