You just made my list!

You know what I like even better than overly-complicated ice cream with tons of shit in it? Overly-complicated ice cream prepared on a dirty table. And if you could make the whole excruciating experience take about 20 minutes, that would be fantastic.

You know what, don’t even use the scoops. Seriously, just get your filthy hands right in there. I want to see my ice cream squeeze between your disgusting fingers like pus flowing from a boil. Fuck it, just throw the whole mess on the floor and stir it up with your penis.